The tennis news (but not only) of the week : a retired Dolgopolov and anti-Internet beavers

Monday, April 26th

While beavers are biting optical fibre cables to shut down the Internet for about 1000 people in Tumbler Ridge, Canada, Rafael Nadal climbed up a spot at the ATP Ranking, and took back the world number 2 spot from Daniil Medvedev. In the women’s ranking, Karolina Muchova has managed to enter the WTA Top 20. And careful, she looks hungrier than the small rodents who usually build dams. 

Tuesday, April 27th

A high school diploma and a university degree at only…twelve years old. This is the incredible feat which Mike Wimmer is about to achieve. Enough to earn his place at Wimbledon, as the British Grand Slam tournament announced that the competition will take place with at least 25% of the usual spectator capacity being filled. This Tuesday was also the day where some news was made official : the traditional Sunday break, which usually takes place between the two weeks of competition, will from now on be cancelled. No more days off ? A young American is already leading the way…

Wednesday, April 28th

 One called in sick, the other announced his return. While Novak Djokovic confirmed that he won’t take part in the Madrid Masters 1000, Nick Kyrgios revealed his program: we’ll see him again after Roland-Garros, as he is "super excited" to play in Mallorca, as grass is "his favorite surface". It could be because the Australian is motivated at the idea of raising his total prize money to buy the most expensive pair of sneakers ever made, as a pair of Kanye West’s Nike Air Yeezy 1 has been sold for 1,8 million dollars this week. Stronger, as the rapper once sung. 

Thursday, April 29th

"We never saw another serve like his, in the history of the sport. I’ve watched every video, I started to observe him from the other side of the net during three matches, and I understood that he had a strange tic with his tongue…I’m not kidding ! He would always have the same routine before serving, the same movement : when he was about to throw the ball, he’d stick his tongue out. Either in the middle of his mouth, either slightly on the left. So if he’s serving on the deuce court, and he puts his tongue in the middle of his lip, he was serving up the middle, or to the body. But if he put it to the side, he was going to serve wide. The hardest part wasn’t returning the serve, but not letting him know that I knew this. So I had to resist the temptation of reading his serve for the majority of the match and chose the moments when I was going to use that information." What an incredible anecdote shared by Andre Agassi on Boris Becker! And that’s how the first ended up dominating the second, after losing their first three matches. The only thing left to understand is which tic gave away this traveler from Guyana, who got caught hiding 35 living chaffinches in his luggage at the airport in New York. Less discrete than sticking out your tongue, to say the least. 

Friday, April 30th

It’s been decided: Wimbledon has joined the boycott of social networks to fight against racism online. Salvatore Scumace, on his side, decided to boycott work : nicknamed the king of absentees by the media, this Italian man spent fifteen years earning a salary…without ever going to work! He ended up earning around 583 000 euros from his employer, the Pugliese Ciaccio de Cantazaro hospital, which seemed to have trouble updating the file of its director when he retired. 

Saturday, May 1st

An artist is leaving the circuit, and nobody will forget him. Having to deal with a wrist injury for the last three years, the spectacular Alexandr Dolgopolov decided to retire, leaving tennis fans with only great memories. As an homage, the world number 603 Arthur Cazaux produced an incredible feat as he defeated Sebastien Korda (world number 65) in the qualifying rounds of the Madrid Masters 1000. What if his parents decided to reward him by buying his a 24-cart gold Nintendo Wii, a gift refused by Queen Elizabeth in 2009, which is now for sale on eBay, for 247 000 euros ? 

Sunday, May 2nd

Amateur work. While trying to escape through the front door of a shop in Los Angeles (California), a burglar ended up being stuck inside the shop. The policemen had to help him before putting him in handcuffs. It was quite the opposite for Nikoloz Basilashvili, who quickly understood the trap that Jan-Lennard Struff had planned in the final of the Munich Open. In the end, the Georgian - who hasn’t lost a single set in the tournament - won and lifted the fifth trophy of his career. And not a single smile to celebrate ? Thankfully, Albert Ramos-Vinolas, who defeated Cameron Norrie to win the Estoril Open, was more expressive.