Monday, September 28th
And here’s a first racket smashed by a top-seeded player at Roland-Garros! After destroying his work tool, Daniil Medvedev received a penalty point and let Marton Fucsovics win the decisive game of the second set… and then the match, as the Russian was completely out of focus. Gaël Monfils didn’t seem to be too focused on clay either, but at least, the Frenchman didn’t install a bad atmosphere during his match against Alexander Bublik, as he even applauded his rival when he managed to lob him with a superb tweener. Not too far from there, Lorenzo Giustino and Corentin Moutet battled during six hours and five minutes to produce the second-longest match ever played at the tournament, while a man was arrested in Toulouse for stealing traffic lights in the city center. Yes, you’ve read that correctly. No, it’s not you who has drunk a little too much.
Tuesday, September 29th
And here’s another spectacular tweener! Against Novak Djokovic, Mikael Ymer had a very tough time but still managed to win the point of the match. The point of the game in the match between Kristina Mladenovic and Laura Siegemund was much less nice as it came from a blatant mistake produced by the umpire: on a set point in favor of the first, the umpire didn’t see that the ball bounced twice on Siegemund’s side of the court, which would have enabled the Frenchwoman to win the set… after having seven opportunities to do so. Obviously, the German made the most of the mistake and managed to qualify for the next round. If Mladenovic wants to take this case to court, she should avoid hiring this lawyer who had to postpone a meeting after mistaking the city of Angers for Agen, in France. Ladies and gentlemen, this session is adjourned.
Wednesday, September 30th
Serena Williams’ withdrawal from the French Open, the noise of a fighter jet breaking the sound barrier and scaring everyone, a mayor who died from Covid-19 in September who was reelected by the citizens of Deveselu (Romania)… Except that everyone was focused on the absolutely mad match played by Kiki Bertens and Sarra Errani. To kick things off, the Italian had an inexplicable bad patch at the end of the first set, as she just couldn’t serve and had to engage with underarm serves. Shortly after that, the Dutch left the court on… a wheelchair, just after her difficult win. And finally, the loser of the day got angry at her rival, and accused her of faking her injuries during her press conference. What do you mean, nothing happens when there are no spectators?
Thursday, October 1st
It was a rich, a very rich Thursday in the French capital. Starting with this fifty-year old woman who found 500 000 euros in the cellar of the apartment she had just inherited. With Djokovic, who joined Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal in the closed circle of men who have won 70 matches at the French Open. A competition which saw thirteen men who qualified for the third round for the first time. Something we hadn’t seen since 1982. And especially as 28% of them are ranked below the 100th spot at the ATP ranking. Something we hadn’t seen in the last… 35 years. Since 1985, to be precise.
Friday, October 2nd
Stéfanos Tsitsipás. Denis Shapovalov. Dominic Thiem. Casper Ruud. That’s the non-exhaustive list of tennis players who are calling for the use of Hawk Eye at Roland-Garros. Hugo Gaston and Stan Wawrinka didn’t have the time to complain, as they faced each other in a hard-fought battle, which resulted in the Swiss’ surprise defeat and the victory of the world number 239, who received a wild-card to play the tournament. Lorenzo Sonego and Taylor Fritz were also busy playing an incredible decisive game (19-17) which lasted for more than half an hour and included seven match points and six set points. By the way, we finally know why the lawyer previously mentioned avoided the city of Angers on purpose: a traffic light was stuck on the red light and produced an insane amount of traffic in the town. Enough to prefer going to Agen.
Saturday, October 3rd
They’re called Jade, Elsie, Billy, Tyson or Eric and were fired from a British zoo after swearing too much - including their favorite, « Fuck Off » - and all day long. We’re talking about parrots, of course. They’re called Roberto Carballés Baena or Aljaž Bedene, and were the first in the men’s draw to withdraw from the tournament in the middle of their match, against Grigor Dimitrov and Tsitsipas respectively. His nickname is the Djoker, and he’s helping to clean the clay court during his match, broomstick in hand. We’re talking about the world number 1, obviously.
Sunday, October 4th
It's over for Hugo Gaston, who has been defeated by Dominic Thiem, after 5 sets. Before the second week of the French Open, please know that a 70-year old American man named Wilbur Spaul is currently crossing half of the Pacific Ocean on the shortest sailing boat in the world (2,70 meters long), a french robber was caught after stealing a smart, geolocatable robot lawn mower and the organizers of the Tiramisu World Cup (which will take place at the end of the month) are looking for 100 testers to judge the cooks. If he wishes to take part in it, Tsitsipas will have to take off the mask of himself that he found on the Internet. He even bought around thirty, for his while crew. Anyway, do you prefer the classic coffee taste or chocolate?
By Florian Cadu
