CHRISTMAS PRESENTS - WHAT DO YOU GIVE THE MEN PLAYERS?

Nov 27, 2012, 10:47:22 PM

We are four weeks out from Christmas. Just about the same length of time the movie “Love Actually” has its opening scenes. In the movie there was that feel good scene at the school nativity play when the song “All I...
We are four weeks out from Christmas. Just about the same length of time the movie “Love Actually” has its opening scenes. In the movie there was that feel good scene at the school nativity play when the song “All I want for Christmas” is sung. At the end of the song Hugh Grant’s character is caught snogging Martine McCutcheon’s character. Remember the song? I don't want a lot for Christmas There's just one thing I need I don't care about presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know Make my wish come true All I want for Christmas is you … So it got me to thinking what could one give some of the tennis stars who have everything, or some of the people who have developed names through tennis. I thought we would look at it in two parts, first the men and then the women and if you have some ideas, absolutely let us know. ROGER FEDERER – what do you give the man who has everything, or does he? Roger has won more money than anyone in tennis so what about giving him a bank. If Ion Tiriac can have one, why not Rog? It could be named Federer Reserve which would be abbreviated to The Fed. The Americans may have a problem with that but heck its Roger Federer. NOVAK DJOKOVIC – he has not got something that his two closest rivals Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal have, so it would be appropriate that Nole also has a career Slam. The only thing missing is the French Open and he came close this year, so let’s give him Roland Garros. RAFA NADAL – it will be great to see Rafa back on court from the start of the new year. We have all missed him since he last played which was the second round of Wimbledon in June because those dicey knees have been letting him down, so why not get him a new pair of knees for Christmas. If Oscar Pistorious can run like the wind with blades, imagine what knees will do for Rafa. ANDY MURRAY – watching him play at the ATP World Tour Finals it was pretty amazing to see the stupidity of the local fans providing many of his opponents more support after all Andy has done this year, so for Christmas he gets his own big cheer squad for whenever he plays in the UK. JUSTIN GIMELSTOB – he was pretty much a mid-level player on the tour but he appears to have built up a bit more of a name for himself since retiring and becoming a TV commentator and a member of the ATP Board. However he often talks too much on TV and has been pulled up for saying the wrong things so maybe a silencer would be the perfect gift to wrap up for him. BERNARD TOMIC – the recently turned 20 year old loves his cars and it appears from a video that has done the rounds, that he also likes hot tubs. Both have got him into a bit of trouble in 2012, but what about a car with a hot tub in the back? The car would be parked and there wouldn’t be room to run around the hot tub. ANDY RODDICK – since retiring in 2012 he’s no longer the bread winner in his household, his wife Brooklyn Decker is enjoying the limelight with her movies. Andy loves to talk and is quick with the one-liners so we thought a part in a big budget movie would be the best gift “Look Who’s Talking … Again”. He’d probably have Gimelstob star opposite him. JANKO TIPSAREVIC – this is an easy gift, give him concealing make-up to cover up all the tattoos he has. DAVID GOFFIN – the young Belgian made a name for himself this year especially at the French Open with that great run he had before losing to Federer but what struck everyone was that he looked like a schoolboy so we thought the gift of facial hair, like a 5 o’clock shadow, might be good for Christmas. DANIEL NESTOR – can you believe he is still playing? The guy is over 40 so what better gift to give him than a motorised wheelchair to get to the balls faster. Need a fair amount of wrapping paper.