Currently spoiled by Roger Federer or Nick Kyrgios, you’ve always preferred esthetics over results. If you love sitting in front of your TV to watch a tennis match, it’s mainly because you want to enjoy incredible points and sublime rallies. And you know that you orgasm when…
…you start counting the number of shots in a rally.
…Rafael Nadal is lobed.
…Roger Federer is lobed.
…even the umpire can’t decently ask the crowd to make less noise.
…your parents or your partner don’t understand why you’re screaming like this.
…Nick Kyrgios makes the tweener look like a common shot.
…your carpet is stained with beer.
…you find Gaël Monfils ridiculous, before telling everyone that he’s a genius.
…Gaël Monfils scratches his knees.
…you believe that a ball hitting a white line doesn’t make the same noise than the others.
…a few days later, you find the video of the point on Youtube.
…you understand why Grigor Dimitrov is nicknamed ‘baby Federer’.
…you understand why the commentator’s voice seems to be breaking.
…you tell yourself that for one of Benoit Paire’s drop shots, all these rackets deserve to be broken.
…Rafael Nadal reminds you that the best form of attack is defense.
…you find yourself in an incomprehensible position at the end of the point.
…you tell yourself that the doubles are really underestimated.
…your hairstyle looks like Éric Antoine’s.
…you’re convinced that it’s a good idea to go up to the net, even if you have to jump over it.
…unless you know how to go around it.
…you’ve never been so close to your screen.
…you try to reenact the point on your Wii and you pull a muscle.
…you wonder how people really lived before the invention of replays.
…Roger Federer tries a lob.
…Roger Federer tries a drop shot.
…you’re slowly admitting that no, you couldn’t have turned professional, even if you had put in the effort.
…Ivan Lendl is about to burst.
…you realize that Alexandr Dolgopolov is surely one of the most talented players in the world.
…even the opponent applauds.