You know that you’re a fan of Serena Williams when...

Sep 1, 2015, 2:24:15 PM

On Saturday 12th of September, you'll be in front of your TV, religiously, hoping for Williams to be on the screen. For you are the biggest fan of the American and it’s obvious.

On Saturday 12th of September, you'll be in front of your TV, religiously, hoping for Serena Williams to be on the screen. Well no actually, you don't hope: you know that she will be there. Because for you, the American is the greatest player of all time, and a calendar Grand Slam in New York would only be one more proof for the entire world. More than a fan, you're in love with la Serenissima.

 

...Looking at the "head-to-head" between Maria Sharapova and your darling on the WTA website is one of your little pleasures on rainy days. It's as beautiful than a Federer-Roddick.

 

...Your favourite tennis shot is the service. If it is immediately followed by a roar and a clenched fist, it’s even better.

 

...You checked the mixed doubles of the Australian Open and French Open on the list of the things that the champion still needs to win: Indeed, these are the last two crowns still missing to her record for her to have won all the titles - Singles, doubles and mixed - in all the Grand Slam tournaments.

 

...You always fear the first week of Grand Slams more than the second. Once she reached the quarterfinals, the jackpot is almost always guaranteed.

 

...Except for Roland Garros, where it has always been a little more complicated than elsewhere. But well... With three titles, it's still quite an impressive record!

 

...If you have a daughter, you will call her Jameka. Yeah, Jameka Dupont, why?

 

...World Number One in 2002-2003, 139th in 2006 following her knee injury, No. 1 again between 2008 and 2010, 175th in 2011 following a pulmonary embolism, and No. 1 again the last four seasons: Serena Williams is Rocky Balboa. She always gets back on her feet. Adriaaaaaan? No, Serenaaaaa!

 

...You always fear the worst when the umpire announces a foot fault.

 

...Since 2001, you decided to boycott California from your holidays' plans.

 

...Though you considered changing your mind last spring.

 

...You don't like Drake.

 

…And Common.

 

…And Brett Ratner.

 

…And Grigor Dimitrov.

 

…And even with Patrick Mouratoglou, it's difficult. It’s with you that Serena should be, and nobody else.

 

...You have a problem with Belgium, too.

 

...Although sometimes you surprise yourself regretting the time when Justine and Kim were around. In the last five years, everything became so easy... Yes, you have to admit it, you sometimes miss the thrills of competition.

 

...For a while, you thought that Vika could become this rival that you would like to hate, or Petra, perhaps... But no. Neither one nor the other could stay the distance.

 

...You realize that your champion herself became a little too dramatic when she suddenly found herself in difficulty. But hey, that's how she rolls: even in the "drama", she’s always the "queen".

 

...Moreover, nice and warm next to your DVD collection of Serena's greatest matches, there’s the compilation of all her appearances in TV series "My Wife and Kids," "Special Victims Unit" "ER”...

 

...Marion Bartoli, Virginie Razzano, Alize Cornet: in recent years, you have learned not to trust the French. Some irrational stuff happens when they meet queen Serena.

 

...You also have a fondness for Venus Williams, for you know that the true rock of Serena Williams, her lodestar and support in all circumstances, is her older sister.

 

...After the "head-to-head" Williams-Sharapova, your other favourite web page is Wimbledon prize list: in front of the last 16 editions, the name "Williams" appears 11 times.

 

...Perfection is the ranking of the "sisters" in doubles: 23 finals played, 22 titles won, including three gold medals in as many Olympics. Congratulation to Lindsay Davenport and Corina Morariu for being the only ones to have won a final against "WiWi".

 

...The current WTA rankings also are your morning smile: 12000 points for your queen against 6000 for her princesses, Simona Halep and (yet again) Maria. Nice.

 

...At almost the same age, you find it weird to see Martina Hingis as a doubles player.

 

...We talk about the only active player with more Grand Slam titles than Federer, which is quite a performance

 

....Your biggest dream is to see her win the US Open in ten days.

 

...You think that it was her who deserved to have the name of a planet.

 

...You also wonder: a little upset, why can't she play (and defeat) Gilles Simon?

 

...You remember that competition is almost lucky: for most of her career, she had quite the love handles.

 

...You realize that Venus is almost a stain next to her. While it's one of the greatest player in history.

 

...You extrapolated: in jail you’d better be friend with her. Moreover, it’s you who would be her cell girlfriend, actually.

 

...You bought the same leather boots but never dare to wear them.

 

By Guillaume Willecoq