Roger Federer? You’ll pass, thank you. You think his defeat in the Olympic final against Murray well deserved. Old-school, you like quick points and your old Wilson racket. You were a Pete Sampras fan.
... You think that the Noughties are over-rated; the Nineties were the real thing. And you pretend to really believe it.
...You genuinely believe that with his Nike outfit and his heavy Wilson racket, Federer copied him.
... Just like his blasé look and his confidence in his strength. To hide his shyness.
... You tell everyone that, unlike Roger Federer, he was the greatest of his decade by only playing serve-and-volley. That’s a performance.
... Besides, you see that there is no great player who plays serve-and-volley since his retired. Pete Sampras put it on a shelf at home.
...You consider that it's thanks to Robin Soderling that Roger Federer finally won Roland Garros.
... Your girlfriend, she's pretty.
... You hate Spanish players.
... You quit tennis when he retired. And when Cedric Pioline did. The end of an era.
... By the way, you miss players like Magnus Norman, Greg Rusedski, Dominik Hrbatý, Sergi Bruguera or Pat Rafter.
... You believed in his victory at Roland-Garros 1996. But Kafelnikov was around.
... Besides, you hate Roland-Garros, but you worship Wimbledon, way classier.
... You think that two-hands-backhand are really ugly, so you insist to do it with one hand only, it doesn't matter if you can’t get past club-level. It’s a tribute.
... When you play a heavy-hitter on clay, as a matter of fact, you lose very quickly.
... But you couldn't care less, losing on clay, you find it really chic.
... You're still wearing his famous striped Nike shorts.
... You saw him being sick at the 1996 US Open against Alex Corretja. And you thought it was class.
...You suffer of a minor thalassemia, a kind of congenital anaemia. But you've always hid it, so as your opponents could not take advantage of it. That’s mind power.
... You're convinced that he's a nice guy; after all, he let Marat Safin and Lleyton Hewitt win their first Grand Slams.
... You didn't collect coaches like cheap sparring-partners.
... Your long-standing opponent is bald. And you've always beaten him in important games.
... You are absolutely convinced that the greatest player of history just CANNOT be Swiss.
... But he can definitely be Greek.
... You sometimes try to get an ace on the second serve.
...You can always go up to take the volley and get smashed, but you’re proud to have tried.
By Antoine Mestres