Endless matches? You won them all. The greatest trophies? In your closet. The biggest checks? In your pocket. The history of tennis? It's yours. Because you, are the world number one. And it's been forty years of this, since the establishment of the ATP rankings.
...you like wearing cropped trousers.
...you're not British.
...Richard Gasquet used to beat you in juniors.
...you pluck your eyelashes.
...you’re American or Swedish.
...victory is your regular girlfriend, talent your best friend.
...defeat is this ex girlfriend you were able to forget.
...other players are jealous of you, they all want to be you.
...so you are the fall guy.
...and therefore you're protected in tournaments.
...even if you're the best, you always have the easiest table.
...your Grand Slam tournaments often begin in the second week.
…you see your name at the top of the tables.
...your rival is often at the bottom... he's number 2 and you hate him.
...you can say things like: "To remember that I was the best and managed to remain the best for a long time, it’s a great feeling" or "The greatest advantage of being number 1 is that everyone is behind you."
...unlike the human race, you love Monday mornings, the day of publication of the ATP rankings.
...seeing the list of your pursuers always makes you smile.
...when you shave, you say to yourself: "I’m the best in the world."
... like Jimmy Connors, Ivan Lendl, Pete Sampras and Roger Federer, you’re a man who enjoys a long reign.
...like Gustavo Kuerten, you're a man of few shots.
...you’re part of a very exclusive club which counts among its members some funny birds: Marcelo Rios, Lleyton Hewitt, Patrick Rafter, Yevgeny Kafelnikov...
...the more sponsorships contracts you get, the smoother you become.
...however, in the early 80s, you used to love insulting the referees.
...in the late 80s, everybody hated you.
...in the 90s, you were suffering from thalassemia, you were Republican and of Greek origin.
...yes, in the past, you could be crazy, eccentric, funny and charismatic.
...but like tennis, you're becoming more and more boring.
...for a decade, you've been hesitating between combing your hair and scratching your ass.
