Winner in Estoril and finalist at the Madrid Masters 1000, Stanislas Wawrinka is running into some great form ahead of Roland Garros. However, it hasn’t distracted him enough to lose his famous sense of humour as we pose seventeen trivial questions and get as many existential answers…
At what age can you tell your dog that he's been adopted?
Some things are better left unsaid.
What makes a good hunter?
It's the one who always has a good excuse at trial.
Where is the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs?
In the Bible.
Why is the letter A the first letter of the alphabet?
Because the word "alphabet" starts with "a".
What happens to dead horses?
They become lasagna.
Why does the military personnel responsible for security in the Paris Metro wear camouflage?
To avoid being mistaken for Jedi Knights.
If a taxi driver goes into reverse, should he reimburse his customer?
No, he has to go to court.
How do deaf and mute people share secrets?
They go out together and buy an Andrea Bocelli album.
What is the opposite of a doormat?
If the Egyptians always show their profile, what do they call a "profile picture"?
What is an American kitchen?
A McDonald’s in your living room.
Is it possible to use a camera's flash during the day?
Only if you live in a rich country.
What is a “normal” president?
It's a campaign promise.
Does the dog wag his tail because he's happy or is he happy because he is wagging his tail?
The tail never actually moves; it wags the dog instead.
Would you rather go out with a bearded woman or a humpback woman?
I prefer to avoid the bearded bumps.
Until what age will I live?
It depends on what advances will have been made in cryopreservation.
What is the purpose of the Pope's manhood?
Everyone needs to go to the toilet.
Interview by David Barry