Suddenly: Panic. Men in white, a green background and, above all, a lot of volleys. Just one week to go before the exams. The grass court season has started. … You don’t know why, but everyone starts wearing...

Suddenly: Panic. Men in white, a green background and, above all, a lot of volleys. Just one week to go before the exams. The grass court season has started.

… You don’t know why, but everyone starts wearing white. … You watch the Queen’s Club tournament on ESPN, between two snooker games. … The Spanish and Argentinians are much less visible. … Players keep tapping the bottom of their shoes with their rackets, but nothing falls down... … So they stop doing it. … Grass is still green. … You wonder if the worm suffers before dying when it takes a John Isner serve right in its face. … Novak Djokovic keeps sliding as if he was still on clay. And you get worried. … You forgot how good your first serve was. Now you think you’re Mark Philippoussis. … You mourn the death of serve-and-volley, so you play some Rafter-Henman on your PlayStation 1. … You know that at your next inter-club tournament, the opponent that you just smashed will tell you: “I was better back when grass was a fast surface”. … On the other hand, you know that if Roger Federer makes the same observation, it will not keep him from winning. … You remember the improvement of the stringing, and so, of the passing shots, which makes the tournaments more boring. … You wonder why, at Wimbledon, the men’s winner gets a cup and the ladies’ winner a tray. If this is not machismo then what is it? … You enjoy the light noise during the exchanges again. … Because you’re an intellectual, you know that grass doesn’t kick with top-spin as much. But obviously, Nadal still manages it. … It’s the return of really horrible, uneven bounces. … You try to pronounce S’Hertogenbosch. … You see British players getting past the first round again. …You watch the tournament final on Monday. Thanks to the rain. … You see players diving to make a volley. … You’re proud that Britain has the best grass courts in the world. … And the only grand slam on grass in the world! … You’re excited because the grass-court season will last longer this year, thanks to the Olympics in London. … You never see the baseline during the matches. … Out of the blue, you remember names like MaliVai Washington, Richard Krajicek, Greg Rusedski, Martin Damm, Wayne Ferreira and even Guillaume Raoux. … You see monsters who can cover the whole width of the net, waiting for a volley. … You spend your time readjusting your stringing. … You think: « Fuck, I’d completely forgotten that Slazenger still existed. » … Anyway, for you, the season starts after Roland Garros.   Swann Borsellino and Jérémy Francisco