Suddenly: Panic. Men in white, a green background and, above all, a lot of volleys. Just one week to go before the exams. The grass court season has started.
… You don’t know why, but everyone starts wearing white.
… You watch the Queen’s Club tournament on ESPN, between two snooker games.
… The Spanish and Argentinians are much less visible.
… Players keep tapping the bottom of their shoes with their rackets, but nothing falls down...
… So they stop doing it.
… Grass is still green.
… You wonder if the worm suffers before dying when it takes a John Isner serve right in its face.
… Novak Djokovic keeps sliding as if he was still on clay. And you get worried.
… You forgot how good your first serve was. Now you think you’re Mark Philippoussis.
… You mourn the death of serve-and-volley, so you play some Rafter-Henman on your PlayStation 1.
… You know that at your next inter-club tournament, the opponent that you just smashed will tell you: “I was better back when grass was a fast surface”.
… On the other hand, you know that if Roger Federer makes the same observation, it will not keep him from winning.
… You remember the improvement of the stringing, and so, of the passing shots, which makes the tournaments more boring.
… You wonder why, at Wimbledon, the men’s winner gets a cup and the ladies’ winner a tray. If this is not machismo then what is it?
… You enjoy the light noise during the exchanges again.
… Because you’re an intellectual, you know that grass doesn’t kick with top-spin as much. But obviously, Nadal still manages it.
… It’s the return of really horrible, uneven bounces.
… You try to pronounce S’Hertogenbosch.
… You see British players getting past the first round again.
…You watch the tournament final on Monday. Thanks to the rain.
… You see players diving to make a volley.
… You’re proud that Britain has the best grass courts in the world.
… And the only grand slam on grass in the world!
… You’re excited because the grass-court season will last longer this year, thanks to the Olympics in London.
… You never see the baseline during the matches.
… Out of the blue, you remember names like MaliVai Washington, Richard Krajicek, Greg Rusedski, Martin Damm, Wayne Ferreira and even Guillaume Raoux.
… You see monsters who can cover the whole width of the net, waiting for a volley.
… You spend your time readjusting your stringing.
… You think: « Fuck, I’d completely forgotten that Slazenger still existed. »
… Anyway, for you, the season starts after Roland Garros.
Swann Borsellino and Jérémy Francisco
