Sketch of what we call a musketeer - aka a French tennis player - the one who makes this sport so special in the eyes of his fellow countrymen.
.... You've been raised in the worship of the Davis Cup by BNP Paribas from the baby bottle. Regardless of your ranking.
... You always play a French player at the qualifications of Roland Garros.
... You're the only one surprised to see a large portrait of Thierry Champion at the All-England Lawn Tennis Club.
... You know that your life would be so much easier if the referee was not saying "Match Point" just before your service.
... For you Sunday morning does not mean match of the day but team match.
... With Roland Garros about to start, everybody reminds you that the last Frenchman to win there was Noah in 1983, before you were even born…
... You're an eternal prospect, or the eternal outsider. You choose.
... You know better than anyone that "no one is prophet in his own country."
... You can come back tied after being led 0/40 on your service and end up double-faulting right after.
... You would like to have Grosjean’s forehand, Gasquet’s backhand, Llodra’s volley and Tsonga’ service, all that in the body of Gael Monfils.
... You were a King in the junior ranks.
... You're able to shock a top seed in the first round of a Grand Slam and lose against a guy out of the qualifiers in the next.
... You live in Switzerland.
... You become a star once a year, every year. In May, Porte d'Auteuil, for two rounds and two rounds only.
... Between fellow countrymen, you share the same coaches.
... The mere fact of being born in Besançon gives you access to the Phillippe Chartrier court at Roland Garros.
... You just can’t stand to be asked all the time if you are seeded, especially because most people who ask don’t even know what it means... and that's a long story.
... The public is against you when you face Roger Federer on the central court at Roland Garros.
... You are injured two to three times a year, sometimes seriously, sometimes less so. But come on, that’s the minimum.
.... You know that when you return from injury, you can rely on a bunch of wild cards.
... If someone tells you that you are the new Noah, you don’t brag, you know that it's just because you are a coloured player.
... If someone tells you that you are the new Pioline, you start worrying, and try to do something about it.
... You always have a good reason to explain why you lost a point: wind, sun, racket, the nets, surface. All in all, it was to be expected.
... When you win a game, you run to the computer to see the ranking of the guy and hypothesise your new ranking.
... You never know what to answer to the question "Why do we say 15/1, 30/3 or 5/6?" Well, it’s a long story, handicapping...
... You encourage yourself thinking "Go!" in the first set, "Come on!" in the second and "Vamos!" in the third.
... You know that nobody cares about what you think of the infamous 75% tax on high incomes.
.... You are lot better on grass but you almost never play on it.
... Your favourite grand slam is the Australian Open: what with the time difference and the geographical distance, there’s no pressure there.
... 100% of your fellow countrymen who have won at Roland Garros had dreadlocks.
... One day, you realized that Thierry Champion was certainly not a tautology.
... What’s the « Marseillaise »? It’s all about Saga Africa!
By the So Press team